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As I began my new membership at the gym today, I was dismayed to find only ten television sets in operation. As I scoured the walls in search of entertainment, I became mesmerized with "The People's Court"... if only because I'd been on the program.

I was suing a few lowlifes who'd hired me to entertain them at their wedding. The cost was a modest $2,000.00. (Don't forget... I'd told jokes at the Bellagio, albeit in the elevator.) After two months of non-payment, I filed suit. It wasn't long before I received a call that took me from obscurity to oblivion.

I was told in the dressing room that I should feel free to interrupt the "judge" (in truth, a simple contract lawyer from New York) if necessary, to make sure I said everything I needed to say before my segment ended. Everytime I did so, however, Ms. Milian yelled at me for interrupting; I'd been gulled. The audience consisted of paid extras, and the set was roughly one-third as large as it appears to be on television. Was there anything real about this proceeding? long sleeve boho wedding dresses

I won my $2,000.00, plus another thou for my time. The reprobates I sued got $1,000.00 as well- there are no losers on "The People's Court", only the viewers. Not long afterwards, I was "courted" by the producers of the "Judge Joe Brown" program (to sue my accountant, who can't count) but they passed on me when they realized the defendant and I weren't related.

It's been an eternity since I met Ms. Milian, her caked-on makeup and the fake bailiff. Still, I'm reassured by one thing. Though I can't remember what I did with the dough, I know for a fact it didn't go to a new television set.

~end~